Ya'll are SO Crazy

So what’s been going on with planet earth? How we doing? I’d say we’re doing all right. We got this cool these cool inventions. Christmas was a cool day, if I got a electronic gizmo I would teach myself how it works, what it’s capability’s are, and what could I do with it? Technology is another gadget man seeks to control. Cameras are a great example as a modern technology that didn’t exist back in the hay day. People before us had no electrical technology close to what people spend their face in today. The Internet connects millions of people together, in real time. Pictures and the Internet form a sex kitten, a image that becomes tolerable to stair at sitting down in front of you. Now The People R.I.P. that have lived in the 1300’s, they may have had freaks, but word doesn’t always spread. I bet you we had some pretty freaky people back in the day, maybe even freakier than the ones on our tabloids. Brittany Spears shaving her head is pretty weird, but that’s not crazy. People don’t just go crazy; something has to be loaded in the gun before it’s shot. I think the people I’ve seen in my lifetime have been curious beings, arraying the topic. Grocery stores have tabloids exploiting people’s lives and they treat it as our last minute purchase. A last minute purchase completely alters the original amount; any last minute purchase gains your attention as a last minute necessity. I’ve bought articles with story’s I like to read, but imagine not having that idea. Imagine not having a facebook photo and telling everyone you meet what’s on your profile. That’s nuts! If you couldn’t tell a good story or weren’t artistic people probably listening would tune you out. Technology does the work man can’t and it’s everlasting improving (hope to god). I think the Internet distorts actual events that occur through time and it shakes the earth more than before cameras were born. People fall into crazy more than the people who originated crazy. It’s all because we care about more things then ourselves. Get yourself a big lunch, go for a jog, eat ice cream. Any yahoo articles will be uploaded to their archives at the end of the day. I saw this guy on the Internet trying to connect the dots with loony ideas connecting picture 1 for picture B. He was trying to sell his thoughts. The Internet had a donation page that made me feel like “please help me do nothing and pay for me to continue doing nothing”. I think this article is written because people that can get by in life ridden of any talents and can ride off someone else. I think we cash into too much that once upon a time didn’t exist. I think anybody has the ability to go out to make a story as interesting as the ones on the Internet.  Give love to thy self before I love thy neighbor.

PEACE

Truth Is

I moved my bed lower to the ground so I could lay low. I deleted my facebook because I don't want to be read like a book. I sold my car just because insurance prices are too much for me to afford. What has been going on in my life is a lot of nada. I eat, I run, and I smoke. If I still had facebook I'd average a status every 4 days. I would be like a caged hamster getting off his exercise wheel to post a status update then get back to work again. I don't get out of my cage often because I am content with what's in my cage. My home has food, water, and the internet. I am fit for survival, but I am not moving forward. There isn't even a direction I want to pursue. I just keep running on the hamster wheel hoping something happens. Truth is probably nothing will happen. I have to go out and take what I want. I want happiness just like I had in the ol' days hanging out with my friends. Happiness I've come to realize succeeds through achievement. But Patience is a virtue, so I'm waiting for something to happen. Truth is, a virtue is less than Happiness. 

Doornob

Dear Doornob what twisted you to sling open,
At who's weight pulled down like the current of the ocean?

Were you sweet talked by a familiar ghost?
For I have stayed in homes but this is haunted most.
I do believe I am being watched,
summer breezes can not unlock locked locks.
I got will that can not and will not believe.
Doorknobs just do not at random fall freely.
It intrigues me with the secrets your keeping,
if only your handle could get a handle on speaking,
I would enjoy listening to a door,
how it feels to spring forward and tightly secured.
With 3/4th size window I see right through you,
or is the door and lock completely different Juju?
You take a lot of time being locked in space,

it's good to unwind or in this case unlock face.

From,

J Word

FOR 6 Bucks I

Saw The Avengers at a movie theatre. Yes, I went to the movie theater middle of the day. Trapped desperate in need to see superhero's. It killed me that B-Rhymin saw it 3 times before I saw it once. For summer blockbusters back home I would be at the midnight release packed with theaters full of people. I've also been in the empty movie rooms with maybe a dad, his kid and the older people. Then their are the Loaners who do not contribute to the size of the movie theater. I have been known to sit with people with every time except for that time in Palm Springs. But @ The Avengers the other day I was a loaner, it was my first real experience. By walking out in the sun to face my fear, I realized I am not a vampire. It's been hard at work, people haven't been responsive to my invites. Sometimes I have money to do stuff. I just decided it was a good idea to see the movie before work so I can tell everybody about it when I clock it. It was a good idea, but I forgot to tell everybody I saw it for 6 Bucks! I hate the $12 dollar movie ticket, little did I know when you go to the show alone middle of the day your walking away happay.(Rap that, yo welcome). I think 6 dollars is a perfect amount to spend on a movie! Saving 6 dollars per person is like stretching time,  You can do so much. With my 6 dollar ticket I stayed under my day balance with a soup from Paneria Bread. When the cashier man said 6 dollars it was like a sign. A sign that says"Going to the Movies alone isn't LaME".

Matrix

Alright philosophy got me thinking, my grade might not show it, but I'm exploring new ideas. We don't know how things work, there is nothing we can break down to a conclusion of why something is what it is. My buddy Ethan once told me, what if we found something that could move at the speed of light, everything we know would just be horse shit. That's a huge what if, but who's to say that's not a possibility. In philosophy a philosopher Rene' Descartes came to a conclusion of Cogito Ergo Sum, which translates to "I think Therefore I am". Descartes isn't say I exist, he is noting that the mind exists, It does not rule out possibilities of waking up as a Sloth dreaming up a human life. On a run today I saw a bubble flash of light in my vision pop up for a quick moment. As if I just woke up under a light bulb. Last year I was introduced to Plato's cave theory which was the idea of the Matrix Movies. This year my Teacher Dr. Becker really showed me humans don't know anything for certain. So it doesn't seem to crazy to consider the idea of a matrix. Humans can't understand how we instinctively blush, I read that on the internet. All I'm saying is there can be a chance my idea I'm about to share with is a possibility. Imagine living in a matrix, the world we see isn't reality. Instead there is a higher being who can use time like a Tivo. Our matrix can be manipulated if we are being watched, what if a higher being can see 10 seconds of an event of what will happen. So life could just metaphorically be one big Wipe Out show course trying to survive the obstacles thrown at us. I gotta go to philosophy, see ya.

I ate a bug

As I strive back home for spare keys,
the dummy i am locked them in tightly,
So I run back home all alone really wanting water,
I'm bugged, but not like the insect monster,
All I wanted after a run was chocolate milk at Randals,
Come home, shower, relax in my sandals,
Instead while gasping for air going back for keys,
A black bug flew straight towards me,
caught off guard, I eat it,
and let me tell you it was the last thing needed,
I couldn't just stop and walk it off,
oh no, I freaked like I was lost,
Jumping up and down, arms flailing all around,
I needed to puke like a sentence needs a noun,
So I squat finger going down my throat,
the fat lady must have not liked what she wrote,
because it was over, I'm doomed,
If my mouth was a house the bug was in the back room,
Oh this was no ordinary house fly,
it had the poison venom to make me a die guy,
My last moments were spent praying, lord give me life,
cut this bug out with a spiritual knife,
But then I decide no, I am Jacob,
this bug can not defeat me so I stand straight up,
Close my eyes and swallow,
Goodbye foul beast say goodbye to tomorrow.

South by South West

Since I work all the rest of the nights my experience with tonight will have to be my best impression of SXSW, South by South West. It's a huge event downtown Austin has and words really can't describe everything the beautiful town offers. I feel as if this event can't lead into just another night, this town really glows during this festival. I showed up with my buddy Evan at 12am, his buddy works security at late hours, so we were able to park free(which does more than one would think). Driving through downtown to find Will made me want to jump out of the car to check it out. People everywhere just walking into perpendicular directions makes you want to ask a girl"Hey where you goin?". When we pulled into a private parking lot our buddy pointed out that across the street MTV awards will be going on with a live performance of 50 cent. That made me feel like woah this is a big deal. I didn't know much about SXSW, I just heard it was a cool festival downtown, which it is, but music wise its unbelievable. As I tried to get the night started I found I couldn't get into every event for free even if it was late into the night. It was during standing in a alley way with a bass player I realized the gianormity that goes on. The bass player was a cool guy with no groupies, he had this long hair punk look. He told me how his band has a special bracelet that let him into shows, but not into the one we were watching from the alley way. I then assumed he wasn't big time which he confirmed when his panties got wet over opening for some 80's punk bands. It was cool to see him get excited, but I wasn't about to listen to the story of his life, so I asked where I can find shows. The man told me all over. He said I just need to walk downtown on the streets and there are free shows playing in restraunts, any one and everyone play. I think the bass player mentioned over 2000 bands play over 5 days, doesn't mean every band is a Kanye West, but that's still pretty fuckin' cool. So we walked away from the bass man to experience everything that he said. He told us just to walk to some of the streets and walk down them. The lasers with lights on the corner led us to 6th street which Austin, Texas is known for, 6th street is just a crazy line of bars and venues. Right after we take the turn I hear a sublime type sound which gravitates me to a band playing on the side of the road. The band isn't big shot, but it shows how people take advantage to get their band known. I liked their sound a lot, it got me dancing like I was at a mormon dance. Evan doesn't dance, so I wasn't about to dance the night away without him able to check out some stuff. Our feet moved down the street as if we had somewhere to be, but really the excitement took me. So many different people in one area just having a good time, music is all around and that's what I think you need. Apparently the excitement carried me because Evan needed a break before turning around. We let our legs rest while watching this 2 person punk bank, just a drummer and guitarist. I liked this band too because they just played, all they had was a light and their instruments. At one point a pass byer comments on his performance and from there the singer created a song, now it wasn't a song that would be on the radio, but it was cool and that's the part I can't describe to the reader. From the very beginning of our adventure I said this doesn't feel like reality. Unless you spend your days wandering big papa towns infested with people, art, and foods you can't know what being there is like. Even passing all the restaurants Evan and I still ended up eating at Wendys. I know Wendy's check out the double stacker with cheese and value fries, you will get yourself a nice meal for $3.50, be sure to ask for a water cup. Now I don't regret eating at Wendy's, I encountered my first downtown hustle experience. While standing in line I heard these black guys talkin being hoodlums and it cracked me up because I knew they didn't mean any harm they were just cracking jokes obnoxiously. After placing my order I waited standing next to the hustler, he had the whole right of Wendy's falling for where's the ball game. He had the hustle personality, getting everybody next to him to try his game. The first time I lost, so then I just watched everybody else including the hustler. He was pushing people to guess where the red fluff ball was hiding under the water bottle caps and I saw how sometimes he didn't move the ball he just played a mind trick. When another black guy challenged him 20 dollars the game got more intence. I focused where this ball was going and like the black Biggie guy I was right where the ball was. I was like damn, I'd throw down money, but you don't take debit cards. So then he said he was going to credit me $400 of his own money to see if I can find the ball. I'll admit, if he didn't slip up at points I would've been caught between 2 different caps. But after his small fatal mistake I knew forsure the correct cap. My excitiness for winning woke Wendy up, the hustler was like yo here's $400. Everybody was stunned like who the hell is this white kid winning 400 bucks. The hustler then asked if I had a debit card and if it had 400 dollars on it, which I had no idea I bet my debit card all of a sudden. At first I told him I had millions, but once  I saw his seriousness I changed my answer, "nah man I just got 70 bucks". Right as I say this a Wendys employer walks out and everybody gets quiet but me, she insists we get out, but I say hold up lady we got business happening. No one laughed. The hustler skeets out of Wendy and the black Biggie guy walks up"Yo man he owes you 400 dollars" like you better check a fool. The hustler is waiting outside, with 400 dollars, but I realize 400 dollars is big money and I didn't deserve it if I didn't risk any of my own, so I told him keep it, it was the admission for his show. I was so entertained with that experience I probably will never forget it. The hustler and I exchanged names, If I ever see Cash again, he owes me one. The rest of the night was wandering and dancing to the first band that caught my attention on the road. They are Tree's from Venice Beach, Ca check them out they have a solid groove, they reminded me of Pepper http://www.reverbnation.com/treesvenicebeach. I feel like lady lucked tapped me with her wand the rest of the night, all I felt was good mojo. I had a great time and I need to pass out after writing this experience. Peace!

Enlightenment

So my mind was blown recently, I visited the dentist for a check-up and she explained the way I brush my teeth is obsolete. Now I have a quality tooth brush called, "The Pulsar" which I use to brush back and forth on my teeth. I add the right amount of tooth paste, but I brush wrong. My dentist told me to brush up and down, going left to right can brush that plaque in between teeth crevasses. At first I was like oh cool, alright not hard, that's a nice fun fact. But something I've done since I was 12 completely shatters. I brush my teeth on average 1.5 a day, that's consistent. So I just realized how easily it is to be wrong on what life is. I believed I brush my teeth to benefit my health and could not potentially do harm to it. Little did I know, plaque has potentially been building between trip to the dentists. It's like going to a doctor expecting normal results, but having a disease nobody has.You never know when life can throw a curveball, like what if something the Myans' created thousands of years co-existed with an event on 2012, people will reevaluate their whole lives. I'm not saying everybody, just the not these guys--->. I had to learn to brush my teeth up and down with The Pulsar, but I couldn't find the right technique, it hurt. The dentists make everything so easy, especially with flossing, every year I promise the Drs. the same promise but never can commit. I have now adjusted to the brush angle change and realized it's much easier brushing like I'm showing off grillz. With this new change I noticed my smile could use some bleach. Which leads me to think After every hurricane...a rainbow appears. If there's any women reader mind's blown by my discovery I have a head waiting to be blown. Send me an experience I got digits.

Dear Mom

So a year ago I ran a marathon which is 26.2 miles. My training for this race was built on cockyness, I believed my high school cross country training was enough. Month's before this race I ran around, but I didn't prepare for what the race really was. 26.2 miles doesn't sound far on paper, so I didn't train. 3 weeks before the race I did some runs in the hot middle of the day, a week before the race I passed out doing 12 miles. I remember telling my mom"I don't think I can do this, if I can't run a long run of 13 miles how am I supposed to 26" and she told me I have to train for it, I can't just go out and run a marathon. My mom is a huge roll model, she's ran 14 marathons and 2 iron man's. She might not be the fastest athlete, but she's the reason why I run. I finished that marathon with heart. My mom inspired me a week before a marathon to kick it into overdrive, she told me I could finish and reminded me of my running ability. If it wasn't for I would've quite. So with very little training, but a whole lot of experience running I finished that race with a time of 3 hours and 29 minutes. My goal was 3 hours and 30 minutes. I achieved my goal pushing through pain I would and will gladly take again just to cross that finish line. It's an unbelievable feeling to achieve such a feet by yourself, no one can help you but your own will power.

Lance Armstrong ran a marathon with 3, 4 mile training for a marathon. I think he ran a max of 6 miles and if he ran more it wasn't by much. He ran his race in sub 3 hours, now I'm not putting a comparison on our abilities, but I pulled a Lance. That's how I think of it anyway. And it's funny this Sunday I am running the Livestrong Austin Marathon and guess who else is running? Lance Armstrong. Ohhhhh Yes! And this time I trained, I've put in so many miles and times that I just stopped keeping track. I just go running and to turn on the fire I think of who I'm running this race for. Thanks mom, this race is for you. Lance's ass is grass.

Karma

I believe what goes around comes around, simple as that. I also believe everything happens for a reason, heres why.
So theres this girl Karly and she's a big girl, not Adele big, but she's rolling in the deep end of the buffet line. I admit I treated her to a date to the movies, I RegrettED it because I only had one intention and that was to get blown like John Coltrane's saxophone. Thankfully I didn't get blown so it was just a date nothing more. After I told her straight up lets just be friends and when she offered with benefits I declined. Ok so that was weeks ago, I texted her last week asking where the beer pong was at and I got a reply back saying it's her birthday Saturday and I should come. Usually that never happens, but I went with it and ended up going to Karly's party. This is the story.

So when I got the invitation I immediately consulted my buddies back home James Mata and Ethan Hall. I called each one individually to ask what is the big girl and hot friend ration. Both of my friends saw the chance of good looking women there, so we're probably looking at a 2:1 ratio. I would still go if it was a 3:1 ratio just for the game of pong. Our calculations ended up being way off. I get off work and wrap Karly's present just to present myself as the first guest to a conjoined birthday party with 3 people. I didn't know it was a group party, so I didn't take into the account of the other women and what they pull. Being the unknown person at a party, I'm pretty reserved till an activity presents itself. As they took shots I sipped out of my flask trying to pace myself, I'm in it for the long hall. Finally after enough waiting for the party to start pong gets setup. I get matched with Karly and she seems to flirt with me like I was the lucky guy who gets to sing"birthday sex" to her. Karly as a team mate is fine, but when she wasn't focused, she just kept grinding my nuts and its like woah lady I don't want it. I wanted to win, and we did, we won another game and finally she looks at me and asks for a kiss. With all the ATTRACTIVE women around(yeah, our calculations were way off) it would be suicide to give a kiss, so I said no. After that moment I reminded her we are friends, nothing more and man did that move pay off. Not only did we lose after that, but Karly stopped following me around so I was free to roam alone. I could walk up to people, introduce myself instead of her telling people who I was. Some girls already knew me as the guy who took Karly on a date. One particular time I told a girl I wanted to get to know her mono de mono and I got shot down for being Karly's guy. That's horseshit. Whatever. I left it at that, but it didn't stop me from truckin' on.
Being new and drunk has an extreme challenge to partying, remembering girls names. I mean I can remember the ones I NEED to remember, but anything under the B- list poses a challenge. Like the girl who bought her red frame glasses at Lense Crafters, I have no idea what her name is. But Shannon Oh man did she have the prettiest smile. I can impress people with my beer pong shot, how else do you think I caught a glimpse of Shannon's white pearls. But my partner Josh on the other hand just got out of jail just to get raped on the pong table. He couldn't make a shot, but since he was my original partner from the beginning of the rager, he didn't hate me for my shit talking. I had enemies and Josh, the kinda combination that doesn't help with the getting laid factor. I did the best thing I could do and just cool off from the table.
I sat in on group conversations, being social, but apparently too social. I introduced myself to all the women present and some I persisted on. Destiny, from the moment I heard her name I had an advantage. "Hello I'm Jacob and I have some feeling we were destined to meet" easy line, nothing too bold and it worked. Destiny and I had some flirtation goin' on and I was told a guarantee something at the end of the night. Destiny also was shit faced and I didn't want to watch over her, so I moved to Nikki, but some guy already was pulling moves on her and I didn't want to be the cock block guy. I chatted with Becky and late in the night when we were going to talk one on one I got kicked out of the party. Yup. Just like that.
Becky is this girl I met previously months back at this party I went to when I first moved to Texas. Last time we met we shared a cigarette and that was the move I pulled again.  I insist we go outside to smoke just for the reason I don't need loud drunks ruining my game. As she walks into the kitchen to find her lighter, big bad Austin tells me the owner of the house wants me out. This is where I believe Karma came in, Its up to the reader to decide. Instinctively I'm offended and hurt, but I don't fight it to much because maybe the owner did want me out for some reason and I don't want to be that guy. So at 3am I walk to my car and fall asleep and at 6am I wake up soaked in piss. I've pissed myself, I don't know what it is, but when I drink too much there is a possibility I can wake up in my own urine. Now imagine if I didn't get booted from the party, I am 98% sure that I would've just pissed somewhere else in the party house. Which would be a nightmare, I have yet to piss myself in front of strangers, but I can only assume I would be dubbed the biggest douche at the party. So am I glad I got kicked out? Yeah.
It wasn't in the cards for Destiny and I to bang and I'm ok with that.

My Friends

dear Readers hold the phone for I have a poem
Valentines day is near and yet I still roam alone
a year has neared by and I have no date
No one to blame for it is my own mistake
Grow some balls I have been told
My friends remind me I am still gold
I need not be nervous or over think a purpose
Just walk up to a lady and offer my service
My friends remind me I am not crazy
And that advice has been helping lately
Maybe I'll find a date by the end of the week
Or maybe I'll make a friend I didn't intend to meet
All I know are my friends are among the elite
If coolness was a smell, They'd reek.

The Blurps

I'm hungry, but not enough to make my stomach rumble, so I'm a secret hungry. I secretly want to ask someone at the school library if they are hungry too. I don't want to be hungry alone just as I wouldn't want to die alone. I gotta fix that problem, just walk up, ask the girl next to me if her appetite is calling, but I don't want to interrupt her from finishing her math. So I don't. The girl in front of me is too busy on facebook and we all know how that is. I would walk alone to the cafe, but that's not a gamble I'm prepared for. I have 25 dollars cash in my wallet, which is enough for gas and tea. The only way that 25 bucks would be spent differently is if a mamma cita needed to answer the calling of her appetite in a no cell phone zone. If it was apparent and clear a women with tits was hungry I would say" we gotta feed those porkers, c'mon to Simon's cafe we go". I wouldn't say that, but something along those lines, I don't say anything because it's weird. It's weird to hear a stranger ask you to lunch, so why would I step into no-mans land. Women don't like weird, "girls just like cars and money" as quoted by Good Charlotte. Unfortunately all my money is spent maintaining my scion, so I only attract women infatuated with a full tank of gas. Which is weird. Cyndi Lauper once pointed out that girls just want to have fun. Unfortunately Simon's cafe doesn't have a trampoline, so I'm stuck with weird. Until I hear a stomach grumbling I'll continue sitting in the computer lab, waiting, watching, listening for my moment to strike "C'mon lets feed dem titties".
On a serious note weird needs to be addressed. If I start a sentence with "Ya I know this sounds odd..." Then I already know the situation can be weird. Don't judge a clean shaven man for being weird if he knows what kind of situation he is walking into. A black girl complimented me today and it was weird. She just walked up and told me I should be a model. Cool. I should also eat lunch "would you like to join?". Too bad I didn't say that for if I did I wouldnt hungry with a huge erection in the library.


PS I don't have an erection now. jk.

That Is So Virgin

Today I can't help but feel like a damn fool, I dressed to impress but came out a mess. I decided dressing nice on a Monday is nothing but a good idea. I have a button down blue Vans shirt that my Nana gave to me and it screams nothin' but swag. It used to scream overweight, but I've slimed down a but since June. I wore this shirt knowing that its one of my nicer shirts, which means I should value the day I wear it. Next door to Papa Johns is Mel's Meals and at Mel's pretty girls roam. Women shouldn't be judged, but damn next door there is an A- and I can't avoid her. She'd be an A, 10/10, 5 stars, 2 thumbs way up,  if I knew her. I'm all about improvement, so I want to see her A- become an A, naturally, so if I have to spend money on food and drinks to make myself known I will. I'll also crash and burn asking questions if I'm nervous. I want to know her age, but I don't, I know where her brother and sister live, but not what her favorite color is. And that is why I felt like a damn fool, I dressed nice only to ask foolish questions and I can't help but think, doesn't she know I cum only for her and not the shitty health food Mel supplies. She's gotta throw me a bone sometime, instead of givin' it.
I have to go to work now, but expect more personal posts about women in the cuming future.