The Blurps

I'm hungry, but not enough to make my stomach rumble, so I'm a secret hungry. I secretly want to ask someone at the school library if they are hungry too. I don't want to be hungry alone just as I wouldn't want to die alone. I gotta fix that problem, just walk up, ask the girl next to me if her appetite is calling, but I don't want to interrupt her from finishing her math. So I don't. The girl in front of me is too busy on facebook and we all know how that is. I would walk alone to the cafe, but that's not a gamble I'm prepared for. I have 25 dollars cash in my wallet, which is enough for gas and tea. The only way that 25 bucks would be spent differently is if a mamma cita needed to answer the calling of her appetite in a no cell phone zone. If it was apparent and clear a women with tits was hungry I would say" we gotta feed those porkers, c'mon to Simon's cafe we go". I wouldn't say that, but something along those lines, I don't say anything because it's weird. It's weird to hear a stranger ask you to lunch, so why would I step into no-mans land. Women don't like weird, "girls just like cars and money" as quoted by Good Charlotte. Unfortunately all my money is spent maintaining my scion, so I only attract women infatuated with a full tank of gas. Which is weird. Cyndi Lauper once pointed out that girls just want to have fun. Unfortunately Simon's cafe doesn't have a trampoline, so I'm stuck with weird. Until I hear a stomach grumbling I'll continue sitting in the computer lab, waiting, watching, listening for my moment to strike "C'mon lets feed dem titties".
On a serious note weird needs to be addressed. If I start a sentence with "Ya I know this sounds odd..." Then I already know the situation can be weird. Don't judge a clean shaven man for being weird if he knows what kind of situation he is walking into. A black girl complimented me today and it was weird. She just walked up and told me I should be a model. Cool. I should also eat lunch "would you like to join?". Too bad I didn't say that for if I did I wouldnt hungry with a huge erection in the library.


PS I don't have an erection now. jk.