So I will tell a story that happened yesterday as honest as I can. Please note the emotions I omit through this blog story are not bitter cause I have found the irony in the situation.
So Yesterday, Tuesday June 17, 2014 I had school and after school later that night I would have a date with this beautiful girl named Julie. Now yesterday was my day off so all I had planned was to finish my school work and chill till I needed to prepare for the date; Julie was coming over for dinner. After class I picked up a 6 pack of beer I got for volunteering at Blues on the Green, which is a concert series in the park here in Austin, I picked up my beer because I needed some way to kill time today. Keep in my mind, I have no money, literally all I have is for the date I have tonight and that's all for groceries. I give Julie a call, no response, so I send a text saying, "Hey beautiful I was going to go to the grocery store, we're still on for tonight right?" I don't get a response from that text till like 4, and I sent it at 11. The whole time in-between I wasn't worried about it though, I just wanted to make sure we were still on for tonight so that I could spend my last $20.
I fall asleep to the world cup 30 minutes later I wake up to a couple texts, Julie is saying that she gets off late and it would be too late for dinner, and I say well I don't mind a later dinner, she says okay, dinner at 8:30, I say "sweet." The other text was from my friend Kristina whom I haven't seen for a long time since she decided to pack her bags and leave Austin for Costa Rica, she came back and said to meet at secret beach at 4:30, I said I could do that.
So I go to the beach with my 4 pack of beers, I drank 2 killing time, and the sun is beaming down on Austin, Texas, I turn down an opportunity to smoke a bowl to go swim in the water. I see a tall blond skipping rocks so I proceed to say whatsup and make conversation. During my time at secret beach I befriend the whole beach, drink beers, share stories, and remind my listeners I will be the worlds greatest standup comedian and don't forget Jacob Perkins. I have a great time at secret beach. It ends up getting late so I say I gotta go, there's a date I got planned tonight and I need to get groceries. Once I get to HEB I have my grocery list with the ingredients I needed for "$4 dollar spaghetti that tastes like $20 spaghetti," courtesy of a cooking website my best friend Ethan told me about. I gather the groceries selectively because of only $20 in my wallet. I could've got robbed that day and would've found other things to be mad about. So I gather my groceries and proceed to checkout and at check out I'm $20.42, I thought it was $20.01 but then the overall sales tax came up. I run to the car and grab my last 50 cents. PS it wasn't in da club.
Once I get home with my groceries it's 8:10 and I have 20 minutes to make this spaghetti. I tell my roommate, who cleaned up a little bit for me cause he knew I was using the living room last night, that,"Man, this is like a Seinfeld episode gathering my ingredients to make a dinner that's in 20 minutes." I read the directions online for this spaghetti and it says,"Put mushrooms in oil and water and let it steam for an hour." I say, "An Hour!" f that, I'm not adding mushrooms, I got 20 minutes. So I scramble like Tony Romo at the line during a blitz, I'm cutting garlic, I'm boiling water, I'm improvising the fastest I know how to. Then I get a text from Julie saying,"I'm going to be a little bit later cause I'm going to pick up the salad at HEB." In my head I'm going, great, that's what I need, more time. There's shit in my room, there's stuff on the "dinner table," the food isn't ready; yes, please take your time. So I start winding down, the food is getting close to be edible and while I'm cooking I tell my roommate how Julie is a dime and I did very well, how we met, what she does, the whole spiel. I note that it's funny that she's all these great things to me, but dinner is being prepared half and hour before she's supposed to show up.
Then, I get a phone call, I say it's Julie, probably wondering what building I'm in. So I say,"Hey Beautiful," she then proceeds to tell me the heart wrenching fact of the night, that she won't be able to make it for dinner. I walk outside to hear her better, she's got a friend up north who needs to be picked up from work and doesn't want me waiting for her to eat dinner, I say it's fine the food isn't even ready yet, by the time you show the food will be ready. She says well, ya know I gotta shower for tomorrow, and it's going to be late, tonights not going to be able to work out, but when she's done with picking up Alyssa she's going to call me to talk about a few things.
BackStory: Julie and I have seen each other a handful of times, this would be our 3rd date.
I say,"What is there to talk about?!" She says, well ya know things, Alyssa's getting in the car I'll talk to you later. I say ok talk to you later.
My roommate walks outside, I say she isn't coming to dinner tonight, he goes, oh well I was going to tell you that your spaghetti is ready, I go,"well ok she isn't coming." Ian, my roommate goes,"Now that's a Seinfeld episode."
I laugh, ha, yeah and am bummed out about all the effort I put into this date, I bought fresh organic basil! Organic fresh basil! that shit is a spice, but I bought the real thing to be chopped up.
I tell Ian I would do Standup comedy tonight, but I literally have no money for gas, he says he'll give me $5 for spaghetti and I say yes, I really need gas money cause I spent all my money on this woman's night on fine dining. He slips me a $20 bill, now I owe him money, I went and told jokes, talked about my night, and it went really well. It wasn't till I started singing The Weight on stage with the band that I realized, life is good and you gotta roll with the punches life throws at you.
THE END.
So Yesterday, Tuesday June 17, 2014 I had school and after school later that night I would have a date with this beautiful girl named Julie. Now yesterday was my day off so all I had planned was to finish my school work and chill till I needed to prepare for the date; Julie was coming over for dinner. After class I picked up a 6 pack of beer I got for volunteering at Blues on the Green, which is a concert series in the park here in Austin, I picked up my beer because I needed some way to kill time today. Keep in my mind, I have no money, literally all I have is for the date I have tonight and that's all for groceries. I give Julie a call, no response, so I send a text saying, "Hey beautiful I was going to go to the grocery store, we're still on for tonight right?" I don't get a response from that text till like 4, and I sent it at 11. The whole time in-between I wasn't worried about it though, I just wanted to make sure we were still on for tonight so that I could spend my last $20.
I fall asleep to the world cup 30 minutes later I wake up to a couple texts, Julie is saying that she gets off late and it would be too late for dinner, and I say well I don't mind a later dinner, she says okay, dinner at 8:30, I say "sweet." The other text was from my friend Kristina whom I haven't seen for a long time since she decided to pack her bags and leave Austin for Costa Rica, she came back and said to meet at secret beach at 4:30, I said I could do that.
So I go to the beach with my 4 pack of beers, I drank 2 killing time, and the sun is beaming down on Austin, Texas, I turn down an opportunity to smoke a bowl to go swim in the water. I see a tall blond skipping rocks so I proceed to say whatsup and make conversation. During my time at secret beach I befriend the whole beach, drink beers, share stories, and remind my listeners I will be the worlds greatest standup comedian and don't forget Jacob Perkins. I have a great time at secret beach. It ends up getting late so I say I gotta go, there's a date I got planned tonight and I need to get groceries. Once I get to HEB I have my grocery list with the ingredients I needed for "$4 dollar spaghetti that tastes like $20 spaghetti," courtesy of a cooking website my best friend Ethan told me about. I gather the groceries selectively because of only $20 in my wallet. I could've got robbed that day and would've found other things to be mad about. So I gather my groceries and proceed to checkout and at check out I'm $20.42, I thought it was $20.01 but then the overall sales tax came up. I run to the car and grab my last 50 cents. PS it wasn't in da club.
Once I get home with my groceries it's 8:10 and I have 20 minutes to make this spaghetti. I tell my roommate, who cleaned up a little bit for me cause he knew I was using the living room last night, that,"Man, this is like a Seinfeld episode gathering my ingredients to make a dinner that's in 20 minutes." I read the directions online for this spaghetti and it says,"Put mushrooms in oil and water and let it steam for an hour." I say, "An Hour!" f that, I'm not adding mushrooms, I got 20 minutes. So I scramble like Tony Romo at the line during a blitz, I'm cutting garlic, I'm boiling water, I'm improvising the fastest I know how to. Then I get a text from Julie saying,"I'm going to be a little bit later cause I'm going to pick up the salad at HEB." In my head I'm going, great, that's what I need, more time. There's shit in my room, there's stuff on the "dinner table," the food isn't ready; yes, please take your time. So I start winding down, the food is getting close to be edible and while I'm cooking I tell my roommate how Julie is a dime and I did very well, how we met, what she does, the whole spiel. I note that it's funny that she's all these great things to me, but dinner is being prepared half and hour before she's supposed to show up.
Then, I get a phone call, I say it's Julie, probably wondering what building I'm in. So I say,"Hey Beautiful," she then proceeds to tell me the heart wrenching fact of the night, that she won't be able to make it for dinner. I walk outside to hear her better, she's got a friend up north who needs to be picked up from work and doesn't want me waiting for her to eat dinner, I say it's fine the food isn't even ready yet, by the time you show the food will be ready. She says well, ya know I gotta shower for tomorrow, and it's going to be late, tonights not going to be able to work out, but when she's done with picking up Alyssa she's going to call me to talk about a few things.
BackStory: Julie and I have seen each other a handful of times, this would be our 3rd date.
I say,"What is there to talk about?!" She says, well ya know things, Alyssa's getting in the car I'll talk to you later. I say ok talk to you later.
My roommate walks outside, I say she isn't coming to dinner tonight, he goes, oh well I was going to tell you that your spaghetti is ready, I go,"well ok she isn't coming." Ian, my roommate goes,"Now that's a Seinfeld episode."
I laugh, ha, yeah and am bummed out about all the effort I put into this date, I bought fresh organic basil! Organic fresh basil! that shit is a spice, but I bought the real thing to be chopped up.
I tell Ian I would do Standup comedy tonight, but I literally have no money for gas, he says he'll give me $5 for spaghetti and I say yes, I really need gas money cause I spent all my money on this woman's night on fine dining. He slips me a $20 bill, now I owe him money, I went and told jokes, talked about my night, and it went really well. It wasn't till I started singing The Weight on stage with the band that I realized, life is good and you gotta roll with the punches life throws at you.
THE END.
Roommate got it spot on, very Seinfeldy haha
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