Ta Da

I'm just sitting in a haunted room typing my ideas for this post. I stopped writing for a while and it kinda is embarrassing, I was posting like mad crazy until I realized I have the power to sleep away the day, so I am putting a stop to that. Today I was in the car with Ethan returning from the beach with no women riding with us and I started thinking"man I am fat, lazy, and losing my suave" so here is my "get life back together plan":

1. Wake up no later than 9:30am
2. Workout 4 days a week and run the rest
3. No fast food/less soda
4. Party like a rockstar

Thats pretty much it, I had spring break last week and I saved 15 bucks in gas by playing call of duty all week long, thats not good. When I was home schooled in 7th grade I watched tv a lot and when MTV had spring break week I always was like"That's me in college". People were drinking, getting with women, hanging at concerts, getting tan. It rained my special week and my stomach wasn't on par to get with smoking hot women. I understand that getting with women is over rated, but when people ask you"how was your spring break?" and you reply"I'm really good at throwing tomahawks in Call Of Duty now" rejection from hot women is even better than complaining about a butt sore. So I'm going to work on that.
 Ps Let me clear up my buddie Ethan last post wrote"for the record I have the smallest penis known to man kind" I didn't delete it the second time because I didn't notice it and its pretty funny.
I was thinking today"Jacob you gotta get an iphone so you can get a twitter, all comedian have twitters to prove they're funny". Lets break down that thought I had. "Jacob" good I'm getting my name right, "you gotta get an iphone so you can get a twitter" this is a serious thought and how dumb does that sound, I have to get an iphone to twitter, I guess you gotta punch me in the face if your mad too. No. Now that I'm typing this I can not sound more ridiculous. "all comedians have twitters to prove they're funny" I'm definitely pulling a smeagle on why I should steal the ring from Frodo, I have to convince myself that I have to prove I'm funny, which can only happen on twitter, but I can only access an account if I have an iphone? Retarded.
I don't understand why people who aren't entertaining are asking me to follow their twitter, why in the world would I want to follow somebody if there facebook status's are "gonna go ball it up" can you imagine how boring their twitter would be. If your posting on facebook stuff like that thinking people care, then thinking that"hey if I post every hour what I'm doing people will like it". I'm not a hater, but I believe in stupidity and the world is full of it. I really want to find somebody on this planet that cares that I ate a turkey sub. Before facebook people had this genius idea to keep all unnecessary thoughts in their head, but facebook greets everyone with"whats on your mind" which leads people to think the internet cares that "My bathroom's clean". Have you ever notice its the people who add you that post the pointless things? Its like the person is saying "People need to know that my brother is good at karate". I rambled a lot, but before I stop typing because I got a call to fight crime with Ethan this I think is funny.
A women texted me this week saying"I want a relationship where I don't have to care and I can practice hooking up, can you provide that?" which is a really funny question to ask a guy cause first off that sounds like a fake craigslist ad and a lot of guys dream about that, so of course I said "sure", 3 days later I'm thinking yeah but then I'm going to have to text her and hang out with someone I didn't plan on hanging out with, its just a hassle. I think thats funny, but then again that can just be an excuse for me to brag and turn down some blumkin action.