I Need an Audience

I don't really need an audience, but shit if they put me on MTV people would think that its okay to have the same thoughts. I'm real, I will standup and go to the bathroom, but before I go I will stretch and say to the person I'm standing over"I'm checking your text messages don't mind me". I'm not actually looking, but people actually do that, they will do whatever it takes to see what the other person is saying. People are weird, but not open about it, everybody has a side to them that they don't want people to see. Even though I try to be real with everyone, there is a side to me I don't want people to see, I'm selfish and greedy, whatever, it happens. I have a different side for everyone, I don't want my mormon friends to see that I curse, I don't want my grandparents to see how I am disrespectful to my parents, I don't want my friends to see how I flirt with women. It's weird, but its real. I sometimes think of life like a basketball game, like I may fall dramatically to get the free throw, but I'm not actually hurt. Not enough people ask questions on life, people walk around assuming they know how everything works. I don't even ask enough questions. I'm very strong minded on whatever information I know. If there is a dead space during conversation I'll tell the person"So who do you want to talk shit on? If you bring up a topic I got something against them" people think its a joke because it is, but deep down I mean it, if you are sitting in a room with me and we got nothing, I'll judge anything. Horrible trait about myself.
I want to talk about this: 2 days ago I got an email about a woman who is dieing and she wants to give her inheritance of 8.5 million away to someone who can help out humanity in some way. I got this email in my spam box and read it and thought it was a huge joke. Here is the email
"

ATTENTION With Due Respect an Humanity, I was compelled to write to you under a humanitarian ground. My name is Alimat Hassan From Benin, I am 25yrs old; I am daughter to late Dr. Henry Hassan. a contractor and diamond dealer for Thirty-two years before he died in the year 2005. After a Cardiac Arteries Operation. I am the only child. And Recently, My Doctor told me that I would not last for the next six months due to my cancer problem (cancer of the lever and stroke). When my late Father was alive he deposited the sum of $8. 5. Million in one security company here in Cotonou,Benin Republic for safe keeping. Presently this money is still in the Cotonou,Benin Republic as soon as i hear from you i we give you the contact. for you to contact them. Having known my condition I decided to hand over this money to your care and if you know that you will utilize this money the way I am going to instruct you herein, I will be very happy to do so ensh GOD. I will want you to use this money according to the desire of my late. Father, to use it for investment, orphanages, and using it to propagating the word of GOD. I want you to know that I took this decision because I dont have any sister nor brother that will inherit this money, and I dont want this money to be used in an ungodly way. This is why I am taking this decision to hand you over this money to your hand. I am not afraid of death hence I know where I am going. I want you to always remember me in your daily prayers because of my up coming Cancer Surgery. Please assure me that you will act accordingly as I have stated herein. Hope to receive your urgent reply. Due to the present condition of my health, I was warned by my doctor to avoid receiving or making any call. You can always reach me through this mail.  Yours Sister  Miss.Alimat Hassan"

I thought it was a joke because I didn't know what was what so I responded"Sure when do I pick it up?"
then the weirdest thing happened. She replied! She sent more details, a picture of herself, and a picture of the document. I was blown away. I know that this most likely isn't ever going to happen, it just doesn't make sense. But her new email said she wanted to know more about me, so she knew who she was talking to and I didn't know what to say. I was sitting there with Ethan and he was like "Can you imagine all that weed?(inside joke)", but it really got me thinking, how could I help the community? What would I contribute? How do I explain who I am in an email? I couldn't explain in an email. How do you sum up your life to a stranger in an email? You can't unless you're asked that question a lot. I just responded I live in California and I want to be a standup comic and my dream job is to make people laugh in hospitals. I said something about how life is never meaningless everybody has a reason to wake-up in the morning because she said she saw no purpose in life. That was that story. She hasn't responded, but it makes you think. I think the whole point I'm trying to make in this post is be real with yourself when thinking what kind of person you are. I'm pretty sure this was a huge ramble, but If I make sense to anyone thats cool. If you read this far into the post then I'll just assume you want to be part of the audience ;)